Imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light...

Gaydar is great because it allows even someone like me to have sex with people. Also if you're feeling evil (and yes, at the moment I am), it affords you opportunities to mock people. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A: Johnny x
*saxophone music*
Johnny x sent me a message on gaydar that read:

"hello Im a total "NERD"lol,I know Im older then you ask for but I also know you will never find a person like me who will put your needs before anyone elses even my own,Im told Im great in bed and would like you to make love to me all night long. I have a good dvd collection Im sure you'd like and a large plasma TV. I know you will never feel disapointed with me and id awaken you every morning by sucking your lovely cock..and I love to laugh and I know you will never have a dull moment..hope you will reply..Johnny x"

It reminded me of that scene in fight club where Chloe, the woman from the cancer support group got up and started talking about how she'd like to get laid one last time...I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrate...

Surprisingly I was able to resist his charms because I noticed something unusual in his photograph. Let's take a much much closer look...
Hmm...Happiness or desperate clawing sadness? Like the Mona Lisa, Johnny x's smile is haunting and mysterious.

Other choice moments from Johnny x's profile:

• He lists his favourite actor as Jake Gillinghall. "Cabby, take me to the Gillinghall! I must lodge my Gil before Three O'Clock!"
• "Why is it impossible to find anyone who wants to join me in happiness to either become my gym buddy,fuck buddy and or partner.arent there any decent guys left out there?" Hmm, think about that one for a minute there, Johnny.
  
• "I do not like arseholes who try to scam others or people who ask for money,if your one of those pricks or an African,Nigerian,keep going as I dont like you." WTF?! Weird, unnecessary racism?

DIRECTORS COMMENTARY: Gaydar lets you send a "no thanks" message to people which is a proforma kind of thing "hi, thanks for sending me a message but...blah blah blah" because I didn't wanna leave him hanging, I sent one to Johnny. When I logged onto gaydar after work, he'd sent me a no thanks in reply! Hahaha, on ya Johnny!