Well, fist (haha "fist" hilarious typo, I'll keep it in) let me just update you on how things went since last you suckled at my blogteet (Eww).
The whole mess started when I was engaging in 2 of my favourite things: flossing and watching the big labowski and I felt something that made me think I had oral thrush. Interesting point: I'm the only person in the world that would have thought that. Then this happened: oral thrush > opportunistic infection > lowered immunity > HIV > GOSH!
Then I went through the fear process that you read in my previous posts with the blood tests too. I went to my psych and unloaded on her. I told her that it was maybe strange to an outside observer, because I was alternating between sheer terror and flippant whatevers, but hell...it's exhausting to be that anxious.
It turns out she is an expert in this area. So she put on her Amazing Helmet™ and calmed me down, saying the likelihood of me contracting it is low. So potent were her FREUDIAN MAGICS that most of my HIV fears evaporated! Wicked, let's share needles!
NAVMAN: In one hundred metres, turn left into Memory Lane.
When I was studying to be a dental nurse, I got what we call a sharps injury or a needlestick injury from a used instrument. Protocols emerged and I found myself getting my blood tested and suddenly worried. Since then, and this was 5 years ago, every sniffle every cold or flu was seen as seroconversion and the beginning of the end. I remember some years back, when I was a sperm donor I had a blood test to check for STDs ...once the blood was taken I got into a tizzy, as it was maybe around the anniversary of that fateful wound. "What would they find?! (AIDS!)" I thought. Ignoring all normal rules, the cryobiology guy (who is probably a blog post in himself) rang up and left my results on the answering machine. I cannot possibly describe the relief I felt, that incredible rush of FUCK YES! LIFE IS GOOD! I went for a drive and as if the universe was trying to be as cheesy as possible, "hellelujah" by jeff buckley was on the radio and I was moved to tears by his falsetto.
SHUT THE FUCK UP KITT!
1 comments:
Kitt! See what happens when you floss your teeth!?
I was feeling quite worried reading your previous posts... I hope everything's good with you now.
Now go get yourself some Nilstat oral drops for that oral thrush! (Are you sure it's even thrush? Maybe it's just left over dried milkshake...)
(Sorry... don't mean to make light of the situation! But y'know me...)
Andrew
Post a Comment